Today I weighed myself, I know - get over it! I have lost 10 lbs!!! Thank God that I did too because yesterday I think I hit rock bottom. I am not sure whats been up lately but there has been some depression. I was so pumped when I started this and I am still motivated I just have this overlying depression that seems to be weighing me down. Yesterday I felt like whatever about life and totally ate to feed the emotions. The more I ate the more I felt like ass! Tim made me talapia, a baked potato and corn for dinner and I think that the wonderful healthy meal helped to boost me back up a little and remind me that just because I took a couple steps in the reverse direction doesn't mean that I cant turn myself back the right way!
Today I continued on with my pitty party with that little inner voice mildly suggesting "you should work out". Boy am I good at ignoring her!! You know that inner struggle?? The little voice says 'you really should...' and then your voice says 'I know already, I will...later' and then a few minutes later, LV 'No, like NOW you should...' feeling more guilty and annoyed you think 'I KNOW, I will do it after the View, those bitches get me all fired up and then I will be ready to do it'!! This is where, for me, I do this total Cybil thing where I am between personalities, its a struggle of epic proportions....the little voice AND my rational self interrupting each other in a battle of wills until I FINALLY (just to shut them both up) pick up the remote and shut off the TV and get up to work out!! Well I did that, and guess what?!?! I felt better. I always set an inner intention...today it was I WILL commit to finish this work out and get back on track!! I am still not 100% sure whats up with this depression crap, is it the world and all its turmoil, winter, my weight, or something else that I am not in touch with at the moment?? I have no idea.
All I know is just because I have a bad day, or a couple bad days doesnt mean that I cant get back up and keep fighting my way forward! I WILL DO THIS!!!!
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That happens all the time to me and I just exercise anyway becuase I know I'll feel like crap if I don't and I feel so much better and more energetic when I do. It's mind over matter really. Try rewarding yourself with something at the end of the day. Set aside calories just for a piece of chocolate or something and then you won't go over but you will still indulge a bit AND make it only a reward for if you stayed on track all day and you exercised!
ReplyDeleteApril- I'm no expert, but consider the changes going on in your body, presumably you are eating less processed foods and sugary stuff. Your brain is accustomed to the chemical compounds in those foods, now that you aren't eating them AND you are exercising, generating new endorphins and hormones... its going to take a toll on your mood. Hang in and work through it and be patient with your body as it adjusts! Keep up the good work!
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